Smart Solo Sex


my flesh doesn’t want to have sex
that disastrous thing
doesn’t like its own body hallelujah

            my flesh has over 30 moles
            no shoulders to flow into
            a pear bottom
            it holds my head and knows
            the want to eat

                         the vagina likes feeling hungry
                         so it moves with an ocean
                         to remain pink

excuses included a “loss of pleasure for hobbies         
including sex” or “persistent physical symptoms         
such as pain for which no other cause         
can be deduced”         
penned neatly on the prescription pad         
Escitalopram 10mg tablet         
for cleverness         
my diary starts to scream “harder!”         

stopped showing up smart                    
who owns my own head?                    

my flesh hates that it is still sick                                             
coping is a forgetting                                             
yes it’s better now                                             
better for them now                                             
just keep repeating better now                                             

I still let my body be                                                                     
a lot                                                                     
and it’s disgusting                                                                     
yet somehow my flesh contains                                                                     
universes, shivering